Maps to the Stars

Maps to the Stars

DIRECTOR: David Cronenberg CAST: Julianne Moore, Mia Wasikowska, Robert Pattinson, John Cusack, Evan Bird, Olivia Williams, Jonathan Watton, Sarah Gadon
AWARDS: Golden Globes – Best Actress in a Motion Picture, Musical or Comedy (Julianne Moore) (nominated)

RATING – 3.5 out of 10

  • Acting – 6 out of 10
    • Julianne Moore was the only shining light about this film. So great was Julianne Moore in this that the Hollywood Foreign Press Association couldn’t decide which performance they liked her better in: this or Still Alice. So they decided to give her a nomination for both, putting this one in the Musical or Comedy category, which this film absolutely does not belong in. If anything, they should have given her a Best Supporting nomination, because her role really didn’t seem like a leading role.
    • Or maybe they thought it did, because it stood out so much better than the stinking cesspool that was Evan Bird’s performance. He was flat, he was monotonous, he was dull, and he was an actor delivering lines. And it was quite clear that he had no idea what most of his lines meant. Dreadful performance from him.
    • Robert Pattinson was actually pretty good though.
  • Writing/Dialogue – 3 out of 10
    • I really have no idea what Bruce Wagner was going for with this. It tried desperately to be a dark and avant-garde masterpiece; but the result was just a brooding and muddled mess of incongruous eccentricities.
  • Diversity – 4 out of 10
    • Ad nauseum.
  • Cinematography & Art Direction – 5 out of 10
    • Meh. Nothing new or innovative. Kind of pretty, but meh.
  • Musical Scoring & Sound Editing – 5 out of 10
    • Scoring was unmemorable. Sound was fine.
  • Plot/Story – 3 out of 10
    • Why should I care about these characters? Because they’re human? The film tries to paint the human condition in malign egotism, but it does nothing but paint the characters into caricatures of real-life celebrities.
  • Time – 1 out of 10
    • I don’t know what the point was. They took 111 minutes to explain something in such an ersatz artistic and cacophonously enigmatic way that they didn’t explain anything at all.
  • Grandiosity vs. Humility – 1 out of 10
    • I’ve enjoyed many a Cronenberg film, but this is the most vainglorious and pedantic thing ever. I can’t even call it a proper film.

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